Person before Performance in Music for Health

She lay there breathing through a tracheostomy tube, hands limp by her side, a teenager on the hospital ward we were visiting. Rosie, my fellow musician, and I entered softly playing a folk tune, and her face lit up. As we started to sing she listened intently and then started silently "singing" along, mouthing the words though she had never heard them before. Eagerly she accepted the shaker we offered joining in with the music, while her Dad explained that she had only started to recover use of her hands that day. It was clearly a special, though emotional moment for them both as she focused intently on holding the shaker and playing in time with the music.

Though she couldn't talk she had learnt to communicate clearly through lip syncing, mouthing what she wanted to say. As we brought the music to a close, she was so grateful and making such a huge effort to communicate that we stayed to talk with her. We asked what her favourite artist and song was, and she said Queen and Bohemian Rhapsody. As Rosie knew the words to it, she decided to sing it for her. Our very basic ukulele skills were clearly not up for the job, so we dove into it acapella with egg shakers.

The surprise and delight at her favourite song being sung just for her brought a smile so big I'll never forget it. Within a moment she was silently singing the words right along with us, and joining her shaker to ours. Neither of us are singers, we didn't know all the words, and not everything was in tune, but we gave her a wholehearted performance (air guitar included). The less we took ourselves seriously the more she started to laugh until she was unable to sing anymore and just turned to her Dad saying, "They're making me laugh, they're making me laugh, I love it so much!" By the end of the song they were almost in tears for happiness. She couldn't stop thanking us... "I love your music! Thank you so much! I love you!"

Was this the finest musical performance I've participated in? Not at all. But it was certainly one of the most meaningful. When Rosie led me in putting the person above the performance, connecting with her through her favourite song, and giving it full enthusiasm and laughing at all the fumbles, it meant the world to her. Training as a musician, I spend a lot of time practicing and improving the quality of the music I deliver, but in music for health this comes secondary to the people we deliver to. Allowing myself to feel the vulnerability of being a non-singer trying to busk my way through Bohemian Rhapsody of all things, allowed a depth of connection that would not have been achieved if we'd stayed safe and only played things we could play "properly".

I love every opportunity I get to play at the hospital and use music in healthcare settings, learning so much each time, and being inspired by the patients we work with. For me this was a beautiful reminder to risk vulnerability in my music delivery, to not take myself too seriously, to listen and respond, and to put the person before the performance.